dear asking for a friend,
i love my partner, but lately, i find myself flirting with random strangers, and yearning for the delivery guy who showed up at my doorstep twice in recent weeks. i don’t think i’d ever cross the line beyond flirting, but i can’t help but wonder why i’m suddenly crushing on other people.
signed, lovestruck
dear lovestruck,
just because you’re in a partnership, it doesn’t mean that you’ve somehow lost your ability to notice other people, especially those with characteristics that you find desirable. flirting with others is usually harmless, but in a perfect storm, the playful exchange can escalate quickly and lead to something more.
sandra langeslag
, a neuroscientist who studies emotion and motivation, says we’re losing our inhibitions, flirting more and having one-sided crushes because our heightened feelings of fear, worry and anxiety brought on by the pandemic are making other people seem more attractive than they really are. she also believes that people who are stuck at home in a lockdown are more likely to act on their romantic impulses.
but does flirting count as cheating?
according to relationship coach
natalia juarez
, the answer is yes. plus, the insatiable need for constant attention that can make one partner step outside of the relationship is actually masking a deep-seated insecurity. but whether it’s the pandemic, the stress of raising a young family, financial woes or problems in the bedroom, she suggests that couples can overcome whatever life throws their way if there’s a strong connection, good communication and if both people are willing to make an effort to fall in love with each other all over again.