learning that a loved one, especially someone as vibrant as ruth, has alzheimer’s disease is one of the hardest things a person will go through. because of that, the weight of the emotions that kim experienced was a heavy load to carry— and it’s not always easy to keep negative emotions at bay.
“early on, i had a lot of anger and resentments,” kim said. “the hard emotions are softer now. they’re still present at times, but they’ve softened.”
it’s through finding the right supports, a critical aspect of being a caregiver, according to kim, that caring for ruth has become much more manageable. she also had to learn that mistakes happen and that the whirlwind of emotions you go through when coping with and caring for a loved one in this capacity is nothing short of simply being a human being.
“you’re going to make mistakes. you’re going to do the wrong thing, and you might get angry, or you might cry at the wrong times. you might lose your patience. you might drop the ball on something,” she said. “give yourself some grace and … find moments of joy because they’re there, and helping both you and the person you’re caring for find those moments of joy together.”
kim also appreciates her mother as she was and as who she is now. and this, to her, is how she can learn to see life a little differently, even in the face of exceptional challenges.
“her brain is just so focused on the small little bits of beauty of stopping to look at every single flower on the walk. i need to do that now, which is pretty incredible.”