“i love talking about it, by the way, so if i cry, it’s…only a beautiful thing,” he said. “this is all the unexpressed love. the grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, right? no matter if someone lives until 60, 15, or 99.”
by viewing this emotion — which can feel negative because of its heaviness — as a beautiful, necessary thing, we can honour it and give ourselves the space to feel it.
“grief is really quite personal,” says kourgiantakis. “we need to have self-compassion and recognize that it is normal and it can mean a myriad of emotions, and that’s not a linear process. you might feel okay one day and sad the next, so it’s also important to be kind to the people around you and recognize that ‘getting over it’ is not good advice because it’s a process.”
we should honour our grief, and give ourselves the space to feel it. getty
her key advice is to enjoy the people who are there and around you, particularly during a pandemic, when another lockdown feels not too far away and some have been missing intimate contact more than others.
“there is space for both,” she adds. “you can give yourself permission to grieve and also not feel guilty if you’re allowing yourself to look for joy where you can find it.”
in moderating your expectations, you can also have an idea of what the day or weekend’s events will be so you can mentally prepare to some degree, while placing personal comfort at the top of your priorities. if that means taking moments for yourself or grabbing take-out instead of cooking a feast, so be it. the essential thing is taking care of you, and those around you, and that means asking for help if you need it and remembering there can be respite — even if it’s momentary.
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