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opinion: overcoming a pandemic of isolation one connection at a time
we have been called on as a nation to make some very di...
apr 4 2020
3 minute read
canadians may have to face 32 weeks of aggressive social distancing to prevent thousands of deaths.
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we have been called on as a nation to make some very difficult adjustments — literally overnight.
we know social isolation is a major risk factor for mental health problems, notably depression. we also know one of the best ways to safeguard our mental health is by engaging in meaningful social contact.
but here we sit, in our respective homes, quite cut off from the networks we rely on to bring us joy. life can feel colourless without the affirmation and affection of our friends and loved ones. we may even start to miss that needy colleague or the office gossip.
as we adjust to this new routine, it’s normal to have feelings of anxiety. we’re being pushed outside our comfort zones and forced to adapt to a host of changes in one fell swoop.
but we aren’t powerless.
the coronavirus has brought home the reality that our best hope for a good outcome is concerted collective action. in other words, we will get through this together if we adopt good strategies to keep ourselves apart.
paradoxically, the best way to show someone you care about them is to remain physically distant — at least for now. but we shouldn’t confuse physical distance with social isolation.
right now, the phone, facetime or other e-communication tools are your friends. use face-to-face and voice contact to stay connected. send text messages, share a gif, or plan a virtual happy hour or book club. even in wartime, gallows humour has a place, just as it has today. while there’s nothing funny about a viral pandemic or economic crisis, finding bright spots and sharing them will help keep our wellness intact.
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in a work context, many people find phone calls less than ideal because we actually get about 80 per cent of our social cues from body language. we can’t see a smile on the phone or a relaxed posture that signals openness. instead, we’re left with tone of voice, and with more people on a call, it becomes even harder to gauge. that’s where video chat can be very helpful.
if you’re uncertain about work expectations, or if self-isolation has left you feeling remote from your colleagues, understand that these reactions are normal. humans are social animals, and many of us aren’t used to telework. at the office, we strengthen our social bonds through water-cooler banter, a lunchroom chat, or a quick cubicle visit with a neighbour.
while in the absence of these routines it’s easy to feel disconnected, this is not the time to sit and ruminate. ask how you can help your team. tell your supervisor if you feel disconnected. as our homes become our offices, it’s more important than ever to resolve a business conflict so it doesn’t spill over the increasingly blurred line between home and work.
now, as many of us navigate having our living room for an office, we also need to set boundaries and take time away from work. this separation of roles may be especially hard for parents with small kids who may be burning the candle at both ends yet feeling half as productive as usual.
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this is also not the time to apologize or feel guilty. be honest when you’re going off-line. it’s perfectly reasonable to play a board game with your child, take your dog for a walk, or check on an elderly parent. doing so will allow you some much needed time to step away from work duties and help you feel fully engaged in what you’re doing. we may pride ourselves on our ability to multi-task, but it’s not something our species is hard-wired to do well.
as we contend with these challenging times, it’s important to create a routine, as best we can, and be kind to ourselves when it goes out the window.
make exercise and eating well a top priority — a walk around the block and a carrot stick count. try to keep a consistent sleep schedule, especially if you’re managing young children. and don’t beat yourself up if you can’t offer them a complete at-home curriculum. reading together, watching educational tv, playing math games on an app, and most importantly, discussing current events in a calm and reassuring way, all fall under the good parenting column.
above all, this: if you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out over the phone or via video chat. share your fears and concerns. because now, more than ever, everyone you speak to is likely to relate.
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louise bradley is ceo of the mental health commission of canada and dr. keith dobson is a clinical psychologist and professor at the university of calgary.
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