time-out

overview

time-out means that you remove your child from a stressful situation for a short period of time. it works best when your child is old enough to understand. this usually begins around 3 years of age.

time-out is not a punishment. it is an opportunity for the child to calm down or regain control of their behaviour. it works best when children understand why it is being used.

when should you use a time-out?

time-out works best when your child is doing something your child knows is not acceptable and won't stop, such as hitting or biting.

time-out is not effective if it is used too often or if it is used for behaviours that are not within a child's control. for example, time-out is not appropriate for a child who accidentally wets their clothes instead of using the toilet.

how do you give time-outs?

before you start a time-out:

• find a timer to use.
• select a place in your home for time-out. it needs to be a place without distractions. do not use a bedroom. do not choose a dark, scary, or dangerous place. a chair in the hallway or corner of a room may work best.
• practice the time-out procedure with your child when your child is in a good mood. explain that bad behaviour, such as throwing food or not sharing toys, will result in a time-out.

to give a time-out, follow these steps:

1. explain why your child is going to time-out. state only once, "time-out for having a temper tantrum."
2. direct or take your child to the time-out place. if you need to carry your child, hold your child facing away from you.
3. set the timer for the time-out period. the rule of thumb is 1 minute for each year of age, with a maximum of 5 minutes for time-out.
4. at the end of time-out, say to your child, "okay, time-out is over." and let your child know in some way that you love them, such as a hug.

while your child is in time-out:

• stay calm, and do not act angry.
• find something to do, such as reading a magazine.
• don't talk about your child.