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what it feels like: 'i had no confidence in myself' growing up with hearing loss

"in school, i felt unhappy all the time. i had no confidence in myself. i constantly got teased, i was mocked all the time. i didn't have many friends, just because to them [i was] different," says virginia nowak.

by emma jones

nov 10 2022

4 minute read

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what it feels like growing up with hearing loss

virginia nowak found it frustrating trying to communicate with family and with people in general — they had to constantly repeat themselves. supplied

virginia nowak, 53, does not know what caused her hearing loss. she was four when her family noticed something was wrong, with doctors believing an undiagnosed ear infection may have been the cause.

an estimated 38 per cent of adults aged 20 to 79 live with hearing loss, while an alarming 60 per cent live with some form of hearing health concerns, according to stats canada . most of these canadians are unaware they have hearing loss at all, and only become aware of the fact after getting a hearing exam.

hearing loss can be caused by infection, medications, physical trauma, and loud noises. prolonged exposure to sounds more than 70 decibels (db) (the same level produced by a dishwasher or washing machine) can start to degrade hearing, while 120 db (the same level as standing next to a siren when it goes off) is strong enough to cause immediate damage. headphones can produce sounds as high as 110 db, so anyone who keeps their ear buds in for significant portions of the day may want to keep the volume down.

nowak talked to healthing about her experiences growing up with hearing loss, difficulties transitioning to a workplace in a time when assistive technologies were not widespread, and how the sound of her granddaughter chattering away brings her so much joy.

what led to your hearing loss diagnosis?

[doctors] discovered my hearing loss when i was about four years old. they don’t really know for sure [what caused it], but i think they thought that i was maybe born with an ear infection that wasn’t detected.

what was it like to grow up with hearing loss?

it was very difficult. it was very frustrating trying to communicate with my family and with people around me — they had to constantly repeat themselves. it makes you feel unhappy about yourself because people look at you differently when you have hearing loss.

even when i went to school, i struggled. there were a lot of frustrations and misunderstandings — [my teachers] had to repeat themselves. they would get mad because i couldn’t understand them. i felt unhappy all the time. i had no confidence in myself. i constantly got teased. i didn’t have many friends, just because to them [i was] different. i just thought that if i want to make friends, i would have to not worry about what people think. whether or not you wanted to be my friend, that was fine. i did have some friends who stuck up for me — that was important.

were there tools to help you communicate at school?

they had a phonic ear, which is a special hearing aid. the teacher wears a microphone [and the sound is transmitted to a receiver worn by the student]. that really helped a lot. not all schools had that, so i had to go to a special school. [if the teacher didn’t have a phonic ear], i couldn’t understand what they were saying. i had to really rely on lip reading. it was very, very hard.

i had a lot of tutoring, as well, to help me get through school. i had a lot of friends that had hearing loss. they understood what i was going through.

what did you like to do outside of school?

when i was in school, we there were a lot of sports to play. i was really into volleyball and floor hockey. when i was in grade six, i won an award for working with little kids. i helped a lot with the little kindergarten kids. even though i didn’t have high marks, the teachers thought that it was the nicest thing you can do, to work with little kids and help out . i was pretty pleased about that.

what were the barriers when you started working?

work was very difficult too. [my colleagues] had to tap me all the time when they wanted to talk to me. they always faced me when they were talking, but if they walked away when they were talking i would not hear them.

i had to do a lot of lip reading. it wasn’t easy. and then, as i got older, my hearing got even worse. i thought to myself that i had to do something that would give me a “normal” life. i looked into unitron, which is a company that provides hearing aid technology. the technology makes my life more normal. i have a three-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter, and [she’s] at that age where she doesn’t understand that i have hearing loss. but i can communicate with my her effectively — and it brings me joy. i can hear on the phone a lot better and i can listen to my music on my phone.

how is work for you now?

i am a building manager in a highrise. we take care of 162 units, my husband and i. my hearing aids make things easier because i can talk to my tenants more effectively. it’s nice to be able to talk to them, to stay present all the time, you know?

how do you feel the improvement in assistive devices like hearing aids has impacted your life?

i feel more confident. i feel that i can live a more normal life. it gives me so much joy now that i can talk to people and not have to struggle. it’s been great.

readers looking to learn more about living with hearing loss can check out the canadian hard of hearing association and the canadian association of the deaf.

emma jones is a multimedia editor with healthing. you can reach her at emjones@postmedia.com or on instagram and twitter @jonesyjourn .

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what it feels like: 'i had no confidence in myself' growing up with hearing loss

"in school, i felt unhappy all the time. i had no confidence in myself. i constantly got teased, i was mocked all the time. i didn't have many friends, just because to them [i was] different," says virginia nowak.

what led to your hearing loss diagnosis?

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what was it like to grow up with hearing loss?

were there tools to help you communicate at school?

what did you like to do outside of school?

what were the barriers when you started working?

how is work for you now?

how do you feel the improvement in assistive devices like hearing aids has impacted your life?

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what it feels like: 'i had no confidence in myself' growing up with hearing loss

"in school, i felt unhappy all the time. i had no confidence in myself. i constantly got teased, i was mocked all the time. i didn't have many friends, just because to them [i was] different," says virginia nowak.

what led to your hearing loss diagnosis?

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what was it like to grow up with hearing loss?

were there tools to help you communicate at school?

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what did you like to do outside of school?

what were the barriers when you started working?

how is work for you now?

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how do you feel the improvement in assistive devices like hearing aids has impacted your life?

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