after 65 years of marriage, couple's love crosses covid divide

they are separated by county road 2, but in this pandemic they might as well be continents apart.since covid-19 turned into a deadly emergency — and more so for residents of seniors’ homes — harry beckstead and his wife arlie have been unable to see each other in person.harry is at the chartwell rosedale retirement residence, on the south side of the road just outside brockville, while his wife, who needs a higher level of care, is at sherwood park manor, a long-term care facility on the north side.despite the short distance between the two, the strict access restrictions caused by covid-19 separate them as brutally as an ocean.but recently, staff at the facilities managed to arrange a very special in-person 65th anniversary get-together for the devoted couple.“that was a wonderful experience,” harry beckstead recalled thursday, during an interview, properly masked, outside the rosedale. “it was something i’ll always cherish.”many locals (including some staffers at the two homes) may remember the couple from their school days.arlie was a longtime elementary school teacher, while harry worked his way up, first as a teacher, then as principal of several local schools, before making it to superintendent of education for the leeds and grenville public school board.he is now 85, while arlie is 92.

the couple moved together into the rosedale in september of 2015, and things were fine until arlie had a fall two days before christmas the following year, requiring hospitalization.“it was hard to believe,” harry recalled. “i didn’t think she’d make it.”fortunately, arlie pulled through, but the higher level of care she needed meant she had to live at sherwood park manor.“i thought i could walk back and forth,” harry said, recalling his regular visits to his wife.“now it’s a treacherous little job.”“when the covid came, that was it,” he added. “we were grounded in here and she was grounded over there.”staff at the two facilities were able to set up video chats between the couple, but more recently arlie lost her hearing.“it’s very difficult to talk,” said harry.“she just likes me to hold her hand.”the prolonged covid-19 separation has taken its toll.“after living together all those years, teaching together … you get very, very lonely,” said harry.“i’m sitting there, looking at the walls, looking at her picture that she painted years ago.”enter elizabeth brunsveld, the lifestyle and program manager at the rosedale, who figured staff should do something for the couple’s 65th.on her day off, she and her husband drove around the rideau lakes countryside, getting photos and video of meaningful locations of the couple’s life, such as their old cottage, their church and the opinicon where they had their wedding reception.she also bought them each a pillow, customized with their wedding pictures on them, “so at least they would have something to hug.”brunsveld borrowed old pictures from harry’s brother and, with the help of her daughter, compiled them into a video of memories of the couple’s life together.and to top it off, harry got permission on compassionate grounds for an indoor visit to sherwood park on their anniversary day.“they took me over to sherwood park by bus,” he recalled.“they didn’t want me to walk across the road.”harry brought arlie a hydrangea and the couple watched the video together.“it was a surprise for both of us,” he recalled.“they also had a cake for us.”harry is thankful for the work the staff from both facilities did to reunite the couple on their special day, adding they were “treated like royals.”but as the covid-19 pandemic drags on, with fears of a second wave prompting health authorities to call for continued vigilance, the couple’s prolonged separation still weighs on him.“what i can’t understand is why we can’t be together more,” he said.“it’s crazy.”rzajac@postmedia.com