advice: my boyfriend refuses to wipe after he pees

dear asking for a friend,my boyfriend refuses to wipe his penis after he pees. whenever he leaves the bathroom, there is a small wet spot on his pants, which is so embarrassing when we are in public.  i have tried talking to him about it, but he says that men don’t have to wipe — “they don’t have the same machinery as women.” he also doesn’t believe that there’s a problem with it. well, i think there is. sometimes he doesn’t wear underwear, which makes the whole thing even worse. i do the laundry and, well let’s just say, there’s no way that’s hygienic. signed, pissed off dear pissed off,it’s no secret that bathroom etiquette and personal hygiene can be a point of contention for many couples. conventional wisdom says that women wipe for comfort, improved hygiene and to help reduce the risk of urinary tract infections. men on the other hand, can empty their bladder, shake off the remaining pee droplets, put their penis back in their pants and get on with their day. your boyfriend is right — men and women are built differently, but just because he’s got a penis, it doesn’t mean he’s cursed with pee stains for life.“post-void dribbling is one of the urinary symptoms that men can experience, says dr. dean elterman, urologic surgeon at princess margaret cancer centre and assistant professor in the department of surgery at the university of toronto. “most of the time, it has to do with a little bit of extra urine trickling out through the urethra, but it’s not harmful or a sign of anything sinister.”elterman says that when urinary leakage is a sign of incontinence, in men, it often manifests as a result of prostate problems, an overactive bladder, weak pelvic floor muscles or prostate surgery. a physical exam is required to diagnose the condition, but lifestyle changes and medication can help treat incontinence. “cutting out smoking, losing weight, avoiding bladder irritants like coffee, alcohol and spicy foods, along with pelvic floor physiotherapy is what we consider first line therapy for incontinence,” says elterman. “second line therapy would include medication that can help reduce urgency and minimize the number of leaks.”some online forums suggest that age and cultural norms play a role in whether a man dabs or dribbles after taking a leak, and while urinary leakage can signal incontinence, it might also be a sign of a rushed pee session. instead of making assumptions, try to ask questions to determine if your boyfriend is patient and relaxed during a pee session. in a public washroom, lots of men will rush to avoid small talk with colleagues or strangers, but sitting on the toilet can provide more privacy and allow gravity to do its job. shaking, tapping and gently squeezing the urethra can also be help. tight fabric can add resistance to the bottom part of the penis, but dropping his pants to the floor can help release the remaining urine. also, if your boyfriend is well-endowed, more urine can get trapped in the urethra, and those last few drops can end up on his pants.unfortunately, urinary leakage doesn’t get better with age. in men, the prostate gets larger, and as it grows, it squeezes the urethra, makes the opening narrower and therefore more challenging for urine to flow through. what we can’t control we must accept, and sooner or later, you’ll just have to be make peace with the old drip.don’t miss the latest on covid-19, reopening and life. subscribe to healthing’s newsletter covid life for daily updates on the top 世界杯决赛2022 and the healthing weekender delivered to your inbox on saturday.