juhl: children, especially teens, need a 'third space' of their own
it's not like our kids don't have somewhere to be. it's that they don't have a place to just "be."
2 minute read
let teens be rowdy in the park, or just chill for a bit.
fabio principe
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school and home. home and school. a few extracurriculars in there. maybe a trip to the library, maybe a field trip with class or family. it’s not like our kids don’t have somewhere to be. it’s that they don’t have a place to just “be.” they need a third space.
back in my day (stop rolling your eyes), it was the mall, fast-food joints, movie theatres and anywhere there was a fountain. we weren’t doing anything. we were just hanging out. in my adult kid’s day, it was a gaming shop where young teens were allowed to sit around and chat and paint miniatures if they wanted. there were grownups around, but it wasn’t structured. they were just hanging out.
most kids now, if they have a space beyond home and school, are involved in extracurriculars that promote learning and, yeah, more structure. they need less of that. they need to be around each other in a physical space with no expectations. it’s cool if they’re on their phones. it’s the proximity that matters.
there’s much teeth-gnashing and hand-wringing over kids being glued to their phones during every free moment. but that’s because online spaces are easily accessible and not under constant scrutiny.
where have all the third spaces gone?
no one wants kids and their skateboards hanging out at the park down the street. they might also be vaping. no one wants them hanging out in malls. they might be shoplifting or vandalizing or fighting. no one wants them hanging out at fast-food places, where their rowdiness and crassness might offend other clients. those are private spaces, so business owners have every right to restrict teenagers. yet it sends a message.
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youth centres are beginning to fill the gap. les maisons des jeunes membres du québec are mostly free organizations that have activities and workshops but also provide hangouts where adults — including counsellors — are always available. smaller communities are developing centres that offer the same: couches, a fridge, a tv, maybe a gaming setup.
it’s not the mall, but it’ll do for now, while we work on crushing the stereotype of the bad teen.
it would help if grownups gave kids more slack. let them be rowdy in the park. let them stay too long at the fast-food joint. allow them in the food court even if they can’t afford fries. let them sit around the fountain in the middle of the mall and be obnoxious.
give them their third space. they need it.
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