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home / 世界杯决赛2022

juhl: if your kid is covered in band-aids, don't worry; so are ours

children want the ritual: hug, kiss it better, get a sticker. it's a physical reminder that they are still the very centre of your universe.

by hayley juhl

feb 2 2022
read time 2 minute read
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seven-year-old justus poses got a bandage after being vaccinated in germany in december. wolfgang rattay / reuters
if you want to be a preschooler’s best friend — and who doesn’t? — give them a box of band-aids.
if a little human lives in your house, there are probably stickers all over the place. on the fridge, on the windows, on their beds and toys. band-aids, you realize, are just stickers for owies. their use as bandages is secondary.
kids run into stuff and fall down all the time, but it’s not about the scrapes. it was never about the scrapes. it’s about the comfort.
you know that breathless moment when a child pitches forward in slow-mo toward the pavement or the corner of the table. every one of your muscles freezes, and so does time. usually a cheery one-word “upagain!” is all it takes. the other times there is a vortex of silence just before time resets and a great wail is released.
when it goes the wailing route, we launch into action.
we wrap them in a great big hug, because that is the best and most important first medicine. then there’s the cleaning of the wound, especially if they’ve gone down on pavement. that part sucks for everyone, and there are more tears and flashes of betrayal when you cause more pain no matter how gentle you think you are.
finally, at last, comes the kissing it better, and the band-aid.
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eventually comes the day when your little person demands a band-aid after the “upagain” sort of tumble. then they come to you out of the blue with completely imaginary boo-boo, begging for the precious band-aid.
soon your child’s legs and arms are covered in bandages. outsiders will assume your poor kid can’t walk straight or you’re letting them play with knives.
the thing is that children want the ritual repeated: hug, kiss it better, get a sticker. you have to stop a moment every time to make it happen. they’re getting your comfort and love plus a physical reminder that you’re always there for them, that they are still the very centre of your universe.
how does this ritual benefit you, besides the obvious getting a free cuddle in the middle of the day?
you’re in a store and there’s a tantrum brewing over the hot wheels display. you’ve just poured a cup of coffee and you’d like to scroll through the news for a while. it’s time to leave the playground. you reach into your secret stash and — hey, how about a hug and a band-aid before we move along? magic. pure magic.

when a band-aid is medically necessary, the montreal children’s hospital says scrapes are often more painful than cuts because they affect many nerve endings. you should call your doctor or 811 if the wound becomes infected, but for a simple scrape, the hospital has some great guidelines for home treatment at thechildren.com/health-info/trauma/cuts-and-scrapes .

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hayley juhl, montreal gazette
hayley juhl, montreal gazette

i’m a queer mom who has been walking the various halls of the montreal gazette since 1989. i write feminist and parent-positive columns and, as a copy editor, am vigilant about inclusive language and sourcing. i believe true change starts with children and continues with lifelong learning.

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