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juhl: infodumping is just another way to say 'i love you'

when a person has expended so much energy to learn incredible amounts about a specific thing, it's also incredible what they can teach you.

juhl: infodumping is just another way to say 'i love you'
someone infodumping at you? infodump right back. curvabezier / getty images/istockphoto
it’s gardening, music, dinosaurs, hockey, skateboarding, food. it’s passion. almost everyone has their thing. get them going on it and you could be in for an infodump.
an infodump is an vast amount of information given in a short period of time. most children infodump to some degree, talking endlessly about pokémon cards or soccer or their cat. it tapers off as their interests expand and they become better at reading social cues that show their audience is losing interest.
being on the receiving end, especially if it comes frequently from someone you live with, can be exhausting. but, hey, at least your child is talking to you.
the word “infodump” has become common usage in relation to neurodiversity, a group that includes people with adhd and autism. talking a lot and in great detail about their passion is a way for a neurodiverse person to connect, to share and communicate their excitement. they cannot imagine a world in which this topic is boring.
being the recipient of an infodump is a great privilege. it’s another way they say “i love you.”
when a person has expended so much energy to learn incredible amounts about a specific thing, it’s also incredible what they can teach you. do you need to know that squids have three hearts and that they sleep buried in sand? probably not, but what a great fact to have at hand at a dinner party featuring calamari. plus, the act of consuming that information has created a bond and fostered trust.

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an infodumper who is part of my household said it feels great when they do it. “i give content warnings beforehand,” they said. “they know what they’re going to get.”
then they spring a hot take on us: “it’s more interesting to listen to neurodivergent people because they know a lot about their topic and they’re very excited. with neurotypical people, it’s: ‘i guess i’ll tell you about this thing because we’re small-talking.’ a lot of people are like, ‘aw, man, we had this person at a family gathering and they talked for two hours about camels.’ but that’s more interesting than any conversation about timmy’s vacation to the bahamas for the third time.
“if they’re really excited, i get excited. if someone’s talking to me in that golden retriever tone, my tail starts wagging. it’s instinct.”

tips from an infodumper on how to have a great conversation with an infodumper

  • ask them really specific questions that are fun to answer, especially if it gets them riled up, like, “what’s the most poorly designed building?” “what’s the worst song by that band?” “what if you could change one thing about your passion?”
  • with children, if you really don’t have time to listen, ask them to record what they have to say and promise you’ll listen later. then follow up, listen and ask questions.
  • if you have to extricate yourself, be straightforward but kind. in the case of many neurodiverse people, subtle hints that you want to change the topic won’t be understood.
  • infodump right back at them. share your own passion.

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hayley juhl, montreal gazette
hayley juhl, montreal gazette

i’m a queer mom who has been walking the various halls of the montreal gazette since 1989. i write feminist and parent-positive columns and, as a copy editor, am vigilant about inclusive language and sourcing. i believe true change starts with children and continues with lifelong learning.

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