it has always been a better course of action to gain the cooperation of our children, rather than forcing their compliance. we can do this better if our leadership style is both firm and friendly. we can answer their questions, listen to the input and discuss agreements about the family rules. this applies as much to covid social distancing rules as much as any other family rule, like tech time and shared responsibilities around chores.
we can discuss together with our children the consequences of not adhering to the agreements. for younger children this is easier. a simple consequence for them would be to state that if you can’t socialize without staying a distance, you’ll have to stay at home and try again later. if you can’t listen and follow the teacher’s request to stay at your desk and walk within the taped lines, you shouldn’t be allowed in a classroom with others.
many parents, faced with their own fear of losing control of their children’s behaviour, turn to more punitive discipline tactics, but punishments are more likely to lead children to either rebel, or if they are more the devious type, sneak around your control.
this is especially true for our teens. they are hurting to hang out with their friends again. compounding their desire to be with peers, teen brains biologically make different assessments when it comes to weighing risks versus gains. we see this in all kinds of risk-taking behaviours in this age group. parents are fearful their teens have a cavalier attitude about the virus, believing they are not in a high risk group, and worry they are breaking rules to hang out together. images on social media of large gatherings on beaches over the long weekend or during the recent riots is only giving them more fuel to believe that other people are gathering, so why shouldn’t they?