#askalyson: how do we get our children to care about their health?

as our children start to grow up, we have to start encouraging them to look after themselves and to care about their own personal health.

by alyson schafer

published feb 07, 2024

3 minute read

join the conversation

3 minute read

join the conversation

people emulate the behaviours of the people around them, and children give special importance to their parents. getty images

keeping our kids safe and healthy is one of the most important jobs a parent has. when our children are babies, we do our best to follow our pediatrician’s advice and to stay on top of everything responsibly. but as our children start to grow up, we have to start encouraging them to look after themselves and to care about their own personal health. after all, we are not going off to college with them to make sure they brush their teeth. so, how exactly do we get the next generation to take an interest in their personal health and taking care of themselves? here are some key elements that will help you reach that end goal:

1. take the long view. let’s not catastrophize the situation. if a kid is off vegetables for a time or getting less sleep than is recommended, our parental fear of some dire health consequence makes us overreact. we make mountains out of molehills and stir up interpersonal drama in the family. don’t let fear win the day. my daughter was a picky eater for years, and while it wasn’t optimal eating habits, she did grow out of it and is now a total health nut who eats everything.

2. modelling. we all know this term, but i feel most parents still undervalue its impact. people emulate the behaviours of the people around them, and children give special importance to their parents. we greatly influence them just by what we do! trust that if you are actively living and enjoying a healthy lifestyle, they will be watching and likely will imitate you. if you go skiing every weekend and play pickup basketball with some friends, your kids are watching how exercise and sports are woven into the fabric of life.

3. educate. instead of insisting kids eat their greens because you say they must or saying something generic like “they are good for you, ” try to share some more inspirational and specific fun facts. “carrots give you excellent vision and help you see in the dark – a superpower!” or “dairy makes your bones strong. “we brush our teeth to get the plaque that eats at the enamel off our teeth.” the body is fascinating; intrigue them!

4. pass on the responsibility. children won’t fight you for taking ownership of responsibilities, including their health. if they think you’re doing a good job of managing it, why add the extra burden on themselves? they think, “mom will remind me of my dentist appointment,” or “dad will make sure i get signed up for hockey.” let your children know that you are transferring the responsibility to them so they can have a sense of ownership and control over their health. this can be gradual. you might drive them to the dentist, but let them answer the questions and book the follow-up appointment. give their cell phone number to text the reminders to instead of your own. stop attending their visits with their gps in early adolescence, as they will likely need privacy to ask questions about body changes and concerns they don’t want to bring up in front of you.

5. be playful but not obsessive. gamification makes everything more fun. having a health tracker can be exciting and motivating! having a friendly family comparison on the leaderboard of how many steps everyone has taken can be motivating if you keep the spirit of fun but caution of kids’ eagerness to compete. if they don’t win, they can feel like failures. all the collection of health data and biohacking can be helpful, but it can also be mishandled and become compulsive or discouraging.

6. involve kids in planning and preparations. this can include everything from meal planning and cooking to researching and selecting a new gym. the more they are engaged and participating in the process, the more they feel some agency about their health and will continue to take more ownership of it.

the closing note is this… the more they manage on their own, the less there is for you to do, and parents today are overwhelmed with responsibility. it may look a little sloppy at first, but give your kids a chance to take over this important part of their lives, and i think if you are patient, you’ll be surprised at what kids can do on their own.

happy parenting!
alyson