#askalyson: parents, stop the technology hate

the first step is to take a close look at the bias towards demonizing children for their love of devices. in their book moral combat , authors patrick markey and christopher ferguson state that “moral panic” happens throughout history whenever young people develop passionate interests that the older generation don’t understand.

co-play games. telling parents to play with their children seems so obvious, but i often have to remind them that online gaming together can be just as fun and bonding as playing a board game. first of all, most kids love when you game with them because they are thrilled to show you how good they are. there is also a thrill in being able to teach their parent how to play.

still not convinced gaming is healthy? check out the latest research on the benefits;

learn a skill together. many shared hours of fun can be had by using technology as a teaching tool where everyone is starting as novices. cara brookins and her four kids fled a marriage of domestic violence, and with little means, they bought an empty lot of land and built their own house together from scratch, just by watching youtube videos. it was a very bonding and healing experience. certainly, you don’t have to build a house to get close to your kids. maybe your teens would enjoy streaming a cooking video so you can learn how to make tacos together. one of the advantages of online learning is that you can watch on demand, which may work better for teens who are spontaneous and poor planners. let’s be honest — they want to spend time with you when it suits them and technology offers that flexibility. remember that when our children learn alongside of us, we are true partners.

children love being creative, so why not create content together? if you are learning to cook together, create a video series about the experience. create a documentary about life under lockdown that you can post or send to the grandparents. practice a tiktok video dance together and post. the ideas are endless if you want to tackle this as a dynamic duo.  check out tv’s jennifer valentyne and her daughter georgia’s ig account motherdaughterdate for inspiration. if your child is business-minded, there’s a lot online spotlighting ‘kidpreneurs’ like moziah bridges, the nine-year-old founder of mo’s bows who recognized a lack of good bowties began sewing them with his grandmother, and selling them on etsy.   many children have been inspired to help raise money for a cause and with the help of a parent, they have launched amazing fundraising campaigns online. working towards a common goal and clocking time together helps forge deeper bonds.