dear alyson,
my daughter is 17 and she has taken an interest in piercings and tattoos. to be honest, i don’t really mind — i like that she is sharing her excitement about these things with me. she does however want to get a tattoo on her lower back — the well-known ‘tramp stamp’ — so i am discouraging this one. wondering what your thoughts are on tattoos?
i am fine with tattoos and piercings in general. in fact, many of these body demarcations can be very beautiful and an artistic way to express one’s individuality. it can also help foster a sense of identity, connection, or community with others. humans have been doing this in one form or another for thousands of years. what is beautiful to one culture may not be beautiful to another. they have to be seen in their social context and one must have an understanding of what they represent to the person.
be curious
for example, tattoo knuckles in a jail might indicate, “i have murdered a man, so don’t mess with me.” a tattoo of the word “namaste” on an ankle might show you are a yoga or meditator type. others are more private and usually if you ask the person about their tattoos’ meanings they are happy to share — it’s a great conversation starter.
as for your daughter, i would take the curiosity approach. ask her what interests her in the graphic pattern, the style and the location of her tattoo. you could ask her why it’s been deemed “a tramp stamp.” how did it get that negative connotation? is that connotation changing with some of the recent notable celebrities showing their back tattoos? express your concern that she might be included in a stereotype that she might not want to be associated with. is she okay with that? you can share that you personally have tattoo and piercing locations and styles you like, and others you don’t and that the lower back has negative associations for you, but you understand it’s not your body or decision. perhaps persuade her to try a smaller tattoo in a less noticeable area first to see how she feels about the process and end result before committing to a large sensitive area. some people can’t handle the pain and who wants the first third of a tramp stamp. imagine?
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