aging well secrets: ‘having a great sex partner who engages with me at least three times a week is just fabulous’

i wake up before seven o’clock and drink a dark roast coffee with a splash of cream. i swear, a cup of joe helps to kick-start my day but i have limited myself to three cups, which i enjoy while reading, wordle-ling, researching or catching the news. with the exception of a short daily workout, the rest of each day is open. i also write in my personal journal, log my to-do’s, my activities and my feelings. it helps me feel organized and grounded.  

how do you stay so committed to exercise?   

what’s been the best part of aging for you?  

two things: maturity and freedom. i am more patient, even during difficult situations. i credit that to maturity. the second one is freedom — retirement released me from the nine-to-five and other such regimens, leaving me free to spend my time as i choose.  

and what do you find challenging?  

remembering where i left my glasses. it’s a bit of a joke, but truly i do laugh at myself when i behave like a forgetful senior, which i am, sometimes.  

to anne thureson, embracing your age means showing acceptance and kindness towards yourself. supplied

how did you deal with menopause?  

i had hot flashes. i still experience the occasional warm flash now and again. luckily, i escaped   mood swings, although there may be one or two who would claim otherwise. thankfully, i did not experience cramps and pain. my periods continued off and on for over two years after my menopausal   symptoms appeared. i was 54. that was annoying but, overall, i was lucky to have fewer disruptions   than some girlfriends.  

i rarely considered the physical or mental consequences of aging until recently. i did start saving r rsp’s in my forties, but retirement always felt remote. in my younger years, during family gatherings,   it was boring listening to my aunts and uncles discussing their health issues. most of those dear   relatives have now passed. however, the irony is not lost when my siblings and i gather and share   stories of our various aches and pains.  

how do you stay confident as you age?  

i refuse to talk negatively about myself and i count my blessings. there is always someone less fortunate. seldom do i think of my age. i am 75 but i do not think of myself in terms of years. aging is a mindset; it is having an optimistic attitude. the song “young at heart” says it best.  

how have your relationships changed over the years?  

i’ve lost several loved ones including my husband to brain cancer, but my family ties and long- term friendships have stayed strong. the most upsetting change this year has been my 96-year-old   mother’s health. early-stage dementia started last fall but during the past few months her decline   has unnerved me. i’m sad because i’m losing her. i am learning to accept that she is not always my   mom as i knew her. this is her disease and i’m bracing for her future.  

what’s the most important life lesson you’ve learned?  

to live in the present. eleanor roosevelt said it best: “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,   today is a gift. that’s why it is called a ‘present.'”  

what makes you happiest right now?   

living in each moment. spending time with family and friends. earlier this year, i beat cancer … again.   i am healthy, fit, active, and grateful. i cycle, golf, and dance to name a few of my favourite activities.   i like to quote john lennon: “life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.”  

after her battles with cancer, anne thureson wants to spend as much time with loved ones as possible. supplied

how do you feel about sex and aging? are they mutually exclusive?  

sex gets better with age. i know my body and what it wants and needs. besides how wonderful sex feels, i embrace its health benefits. during orgasm, the brain releases dopamine and other neurotransmitters — that’s physically and mentally healthy. having a great sex partner who engages with me at least three times a week is just fabulous.  

what advice do you have for women who hide their age or are nervous about getting older?   

we are all concerned about getting older. aging is not for sissies nor is the subject of   death and dying. perhaps if our last years were more openly addressed, we would accept aging and   its consequences more philosophically. i would not judge someone who hides her age especially if it   makes her feel better. me? i’m adjusting to new wrinkles, age spots and soft tissue. i jokingly   wonder who will pluck my chin hairs when i am too old to do so — these alien hairs have sprang out of   nowhere and grown surprisingly quickly. perhaps the best we can do is to find our comfort zones and   ways to accept our aging selves and adjust. most importantly, we should strive to be kind to ourselves.  

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aging well secrets: ‘having a great sex partner who engages with me at least three times a week is just fabulous’

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