but by the time all those surgeries were done, i was in the preschool age bracket, and at that late stage, i was learning how to toilet train. because of that late start and some of the complications from those surgeries, i remained very incontinent for the next nine or 10 years. the rectum is the place that holds your waste before it goes through, and i lost that entirely. so things move through me very quickly. for someone with a healthy colon, your intestine moves in contractions and usually only a few happen in a day. but mine does that several times in an hour. all of that made it a struggle to become continent again.
today, at 24, my incontinence is very few and far between. if there is a slip up, it’s very mild. my worst days now used to be my best days. when i was younger and in school, there was a greater mental toll, particularly when i was in the classroom and needed to use the bathroom often. it made me feel feeble, unable to manage something so seemingly simple. i have memories of being in my fifth grade class and not wanting to get up or move because it would unlock the smell. i remember grabbing the teacher’s vicks vaporub tissues, putting them on my seat and sitting on them to mask the smell.
‘i have memories of being in my fifth grade class and not wanting to get up or move because it would unlock the smell,’ says beau brockett. getty
up until the sixth grade, i was fairly incontinent most days. and then i remember seventh and eighth grade being really great and not having an issue. part of it was just being able to get comfortable speaking up and raising my hand if i needed to use the bathroom — being proactive. that, and taking care of my body, helped me reach this point where it’s all become manageable, and reading up on some of the literature and learning how to train my body a little bit better. having a routine has really helped, in terms of exercising in the morning, eating at generally the same time, not snacking a lot and keeping my days to two big meals so things flow through easier. as i grew older, my body adjusted and so did i, mentally.
everyone has good and bad poop days
it’s also led to me becoming a big advocate for public bathrooms, particularly since the covid pandemic hit. when so many of them closed, that was tough for me, and it was, too, for those with even more intense symptoms of a gastrointestinal disorder. but also, just talking about my experience is helpful — as is talking about hirschsprung’s disease, which is so rare;
it occurs in about one in 5,000 live births
. because it’s considered a children’s disease, and the issue is usually resolved when you’re young, most of the discussion around it is with the parents of patients. but there are lingering effects, and so advocacy and sharing my story has been a way to provide another perspective. in general, talking about poop is considered a very shameful, private thing. but when you have a disorder associated with it, i think it’s important to not be ashamed and to be open about what you’re living with. everyone has good and bad poop days, and talking about it can help you get educated, change your routine and make healthy choices.
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