dear alyson, my son is 15, he is a good kid with good friends — i think he is awesome.
he recently came home and told me that he was at a friend’s house and one of the girls had paid someone to buy vodka and they were mixing vodka with pop. i thought it was great that he was honest with me, but now i am torn. i know who the girl is and would like to let her parents know what’s happening, but at the same time, i value my son’s trust in me. he is certain if i speak to her mom, the whole group will find out and he will be made fun of. i really don’t know how to handle this.
signed,
conflicted mom
dear conflicted mom,
it is great that you have a son who feels comfortable speaking openly to you. i want other parents reading this to know that a wonderful response to a teen who shares any confessional with a parent is “thanks for telling me — i bet that took some courage.”
it’s important to raise children who can manage such challenging social situations. but we can’t help support, advise or guide our teens if they stop sharing the about the sticky situations and turmoil they are going through.
we can’t control situations, but we can guide
teens will find themselves in situations where alcohol is available, whether it is with this group of friends, or others in the future. we can’t control the external experiences that will present themselves to our children, but we can help guide them in how to conduct themselves such precarious situations.
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