lovers in a dangerous time: a safe (pandemic) sex guide

the idea of safe sex has taken an interesting turn amid the pandemic. exhibit a: in early september, canada’s top doctor theresa tam suggested wearing a mask if you have sex with someone outside your household. exhibit b: this bullet point list from ottawa public health with suggestions for anyone who might “engage in the sex” over the thanskgiving long weekend:

hello. some of you might be wanting to engage in the sex this weekend. please be safe & #becovidwise:
- stick to sexual partner(s) you live with (or consider virtual sex)
- wash your hands before/after sex
- use a condom
- avoid kissing/sex if you’re sickhttps://t.co/pxggnsqlqn pic.twitter.com/vvwernz4xm

— ottawa public health (@ottawahealth) october 9, 2020

unsuprisingly, the responses on social media involved a bit of tee-heeing (we will take any levity we can get). but for lovers in a dangerous time, ottawa public health does have a robust guide to, well, getting it on amid covid-19. there’s no shaming either: “consensual sex can be a way of dealing with anxiety or fulfilling and expressing our needs for intimacy. it can also be pleasurable and help pass the time when isolated indoors.”

reducing the spread of covid-19

• your safest sex partner during the covid-19 pandemic is yourself.
• try consensual sexting, virtual sex, video dating, or chat rooms.
• have a consensual partner that you are living with in the same household.
• if you usually meet sex partners online, are polyamorous with people who are not living in the same house, or make a living having sex, consider video dates, sexting or chat rooms instead of meeting people in person.

protect yourself

• wash your hands before and after having sex, whether alone or with a partner.
• use a dental dam or condom cut open to reduce contact during oral or anal sex.
• use condoms to protect from sexually transmitted and blood borne infections.
• clean sex toys and consider covering them with a condom. do not share sex toys with others.
• avoid kissing and having sex with a partner, if feeling unwell, or if you have covid-19.
• avoid having sex if one partner has a health condition that can lead to more severe illness from covid-19.

tam’s recommendations earlier this fall included avoiding kissing and limiting use of alcohol or other substances that might lead to unsafe decisions.

if all that sounds like a bit of mood-killer, keep in mind that some people find hazmat suits kind of hot. in march, psychology today noted that the pandemic was changing porn-viewing habits: we’re watching more of it and we’re also looking up porn involving hazmat suits, surgical gloves and masks.