yollanda zhang is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker and mental health advocate who lives with a
bipolar disorder
. diagnosed in her early 20s, she was overwhelmed with fear, shame and uncertainty about how the mood disorder would impact her engineering career and her future. yollanda kept her diagnosis a secret for two decades out of fear that she would lose friends and professional opportunities, but now, she’s done hiding, and is determined to speak her truth and help others.
this is her story on finding her strength, her voice and her personal power through vulnerability and authenticity.
i was just 20 years old and in my first year of university, enrolled in one of canada’s best engineering programs. some days, my depressive moods made it impossible to get up for classes, but on other days, i felt so energetic that i could catch up on everything i had missed. i was living with roommates at the time, and during my wired moments, i would clean our apartment at 3 a.m. it was during this time that i realized i didn’t feel like myself and decided to call my parents, who were visiting china.
culturally, we were not very open about sharing our problems with others, and my parents advised me to “tough it out” and wait for their return. they assured me that when they came back, we would work together as a family to solve the problem. my roommates were concerned, and they asked questions, but my parents made it clear that i shouldn’t tell anyone. they suggested that if others knew, i could lose my friends and jeopardize any professional opportunities. so, i told my concerned friends that i was suffering from “debilitating migraines” that forced me to miss classes, and that the intense headaches were the reason for my energy levels and cleaning sprees.