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fighting for change: how one father’s tragic loss is shedding light on youth mental health

chris coulter lost his daughter to suicide almost a decade ago, and since then, he’s been working toward change so that other parents can avoid the same fate.

by angelica bottaro

published jan 23, 2024

last updated oct 29, 2024

7 minute read

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7 minute read

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youth mental health: how one father’s tragic loss is shedding light

mental health advocate chris coulter has seen firsthand how young people fall through the cracks when it comes to getting the help they need for depression, specifically in the school system. supplied

for almost a decade, chris coulter has worked to spread awareness for the mental and emotional wellness of youth in canada. his daughter, maddie, lost her life to suicide almost a decade ago after struggling with depression for the better part of her adolescence. “maddie was not your typical mental illness stereotypical type of person. she was popular, smart, a wicked sense of humour. she wasn’t bullied. there weren’t any real evident challenges that most people would associate with mental illness or depression or someone who would ultimately die by suicide,” coulter said.

his daughter’s experience wasn’t the exception to the rule, and many young people who cope with depression every day don’t fit into a box. that’s why spreading awareness for parents and young people is vital. you don’t have to appear depressed to be drowning on the inside, and the mask that young people often wear to hide these feelings, the one that protects them from the stigma that continues to surround mental illness, is difficult to take off.

since the loss of maddie, coulter continues to fight for better support for mental health through the education system, provide a resource for parents to navigate these difficult situations through his newly-authored book, and prevent youth from making the ultimate sacrifice before it’s too late.

depression in canada’s youth and the school system

according to a study published in the canadian medical association journal, “in most affected adolescents, depression remains undetected and untreated.” more than 40% of people with depression developed it before they reached adulthood. in many cases, those people were not provided with the proper tools or education needed to not only express what they were going through but also to seek the appropriate help regarding diagnosis and treatment.

coulter has seen firsthand how young people fall through the cracks when it comes to getting the help they need for depression, specifically in the school system.

“my biggest challenge is the fact that our schools do a terrible job with emotional health and emotional intelligence,” he said. “they’re more focused on academic achievement than emotional health, and i don’t think one can be done without the other. you have to have emotional health before you can have academic achievement.”

a report titled school-based mental health in canada – a final report released by the mental health commission echoes that same sentiment. the report states a “link between mental health and academic performance.” while academic performance is crucial to overall success in life, children like maddie and those who struggle with the same battle she fought aren’t thinking about the future at all. they are too busy trying to stay afloat each and every day. in turn, academics seem minuscule and insignificant in comparison. because, in truth, they are when a teenager’s life is on the line.

coulter has expressed the need for changes in the school system, but he didn’t stop there. while his main goal after losing his daughter was to spread awareness, he has done much more than that to make real change for young people who are currently going through what his daughter went through.

“i was the executive director of a not-for-profit called how are you feeling, which is about getting into schools and talking and teaching kids about identifying, understanding, and processing their emotions,” coulter said.

the how are you feeling course was designed to give students the opportunity to learn about what schools had failed to teach them: emotional health.

“a lot of these kids don’t know how to deal with their emotions. we are all subject to various incidents and traumas in our lives, and it’s how we get through that pain or grief. it really sets you up for the rest of your life,” he said. “we want schools to incorporate us into part of their curriculum. unfortunately, the schools said ‘no, our curriculum is full.”

while the onus can’t be put only on the schools, it’s crucial to understand that children and youth spend most of their waking lives within the confines of their educational institutions. with that much time spent at school and the responsibility of educators to teach youth everything they need to know to grow into well-functioning adults, leaving emotional health out of the equation appears to be a giant misstep. especially when programs like how are you feeling have proven to be effective.

coulter recalls going to schools and teaching the course and realizing that these kids not only enjoyed the course but also found it could act as the missing piece they needed to cope with everyday life.

“we asked questions and polled a lot of these kids, and 96 per cent said what they’re learning about emotional health is completely inadequate [compared to what they learned in how are you feeling],” coulter said. “at the end of the day, kids have come out and said it’s so powerful. they made them understand the importance of dealing with their emotions. when you have a 96 per cent approval rating from kids, it just tells you about the recklessness and twisted priorities [of school administrators].”

the pen is mightier than the sword: using words to make real change

when coulter began a blog dedicated to spreading awareness about youth mental illness and emotional well-being, his goal was to help other people while simultaneously giving himself a cathartic outlet to deal with the unimaginable grief he was feeling. it wasn’t until he realized that he could make real change with his words that things began to take a more solidified turn.

“my contribution was around writing and awareness. i was writing initially just as an outlet, and it turned into something much bigger,” coulter said.

in the fall of 2023, coulter sat down in front of his computer yet again to process the emotional aftermath of his daughter’s suicide. after doing the work surrounding mental health awareness and experiencing the worst possible outcome in his personal life, he needed to say more. what came into existence was a book that could act as a resource for parents who may have children struggling in the same way maddie did.

“i just sat down and had this outpouring of stuff that came out. the book came as a consequence,” he said.

the book, wake up, you could lose your teen to suicide: a father’s guide to dealing with teenage depression & anxiety, is meant to act as a guide for parents who, like coulter, have teenagers struggling on the inside but seemingly getting by just fine on the outside.

“there were four initial things i wanted to satisfy with the book,” coulter said. “parents to know that they’re not alone, create a resource for parents to know how to navigate the healthcare system, stimulate a conversation for widespread changes through our educational and political systems, and donate some of the proceeds to mental health organizations that are overworked and overtaxed and have limited resources.”

coulter continued, “the people who have bought and read the book have said it’s phenomenal, but it needs to be before so many more eyeballs. it’s a sad and tragic story, but it’s also to inspire hope that there is help available, and it’s really about coaching strategies of things to be aware of early on.”

depression in youth doesn’t discriminate, and with more and more children and teenagers being afflicted with the disease, it’s more important than ever to have these difficult conversations. “you could potentially lose your child to suicide,” coulter states from his own experience. “i need to be talking about this in front of a larger audience and make people aware. people need to know that there are tools out there to assist parents in navigating the storm and that there is hope.”

while coulter’s book is designed to be another foray into helping others avoid the same fate he continues to cope with, it doesn’t stop there. through his company, the finish line group, coulter has also established the hopeful horizons fund, a “savings vehicle” that can be used to plan for your child’s future while also helping them gain awareness of how to handle their emotional health and the ups and downs that come with living in today’s society.

working toward a future with youth mental wellness in mind

the work coulter has done and continues to do has made fundamental changes in the lives of young people and their parents. his tragedy has shone a light on the state of the system and how it lets young people down every single day.

currently, the healthcare and school systems operate on a reaction-based model. when a student or young person struggles with depression, they face a difficult task: talk to someone about something they don’t quite understand themselves. instead of focusing solely on the after, coulter believes prevention is the better route.

prevention means teaching young people how to handle the tough stuff life throws their way, open up and talk about the negative emotions they’re experiencing, and understand their minds better.

“i firmly believe that prevention is the answer, and our schools need to start adopting more of these components into their curriculum,” coulter said. “we need some strong advocates and champions within the educational system to ensure that it happens. there’s not enough of them out there. there have been a few, but unfortunately, they’re being muted by a greater populace.”

real change begins with a conversation. as more and more youth continue to be hit with depression and all that it entails, people like coulter can’t do it alone. it’s vital to remember that when something as loud as depression and the repercussions it can have on a person is silenced, the voices fighting for change need to be louder.

“talking about your mental health is a strength and not a weakness,” coulter said. “i think there’s a perception that someone struggling with mental health is a weak person, but it takes a lot of courage and strength to talk about it.”

angelica bottaro

angelica bottaro is the lead editor at healthing.ca, and has been content writing for over a decade, specializing in all things health. her goal as a health journalist is to bring awareness and information to people that they can use as an additional tool toward their own optimal health.

fighting for change: how one father’s tragic loss is shedding light on youth mental health

chris coulter lost his daughter to suicide almost a decade ago, and since then, he’s been working toward change so that other parents can avoid the same fate.

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working toward a future with youth mental wellness in mind

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fighting for change: how one father’s tragic loss is shedding light on youth mental health

chris coulter lost his daughter to suicide almost a decade ago, and since then, he’s been working toward change so that other parents can avoid the same fate.

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