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machado: when dimes, birds, butterflies and squirrels are signs from lost loved ones

studies have shown that 30 to 60 per cent of bereaved people feel the continued presence of a deceased loved one, in signs, sounds and visions.

a found coin is said to be a sign from a deceased loved one
birds have long been seen as messengers that a departed loved one is watching over you. getty
when my father died, a friend told me that i should keep an eye out for dimes left in surprising places, as it was a sign that my dad was near. she herself had a bowl sitting on her night table that was full of dimes that she had found in random places.
“it’s my mom saying hello,” she said with a smile. “i mean, why would a dime be in my shoe?”

it wasn’t a new idea. in fact, the belief stems from an old adage that when an angel misses you, they toss a coin down from heaven. and of course, after she said that, i found dimes everywhere — never in my shoe —  but in other places, like in hard-to-explain corners of my house, in a plant pot that was thawing out after winter, and in a small straw basket that i keep hair ties in.

to be honest, i never did get the feeling that these were a “hello” from my dad, but it was a little fun to imagine that these little coins that showed up in odd places were a sign he was keeping an eye out for me, especially when i was having a bad day. it was sort of like making a wish on a wishbone, not opening an umbrella indoors or carrying a lucky charm — you don’t quite want to poo-poo it, because there’s always a part of you, even a very tiny part, that thinks, ‘what if?’
i have to admit though, i find it a little harder to be as skeptical when it comes to nature, though — butterflies and birds, particularly robins, get me every time. this is partly because some of my fondest memories of my dad are of him rescuing injured birds, usually robins, and nursing them back to health. but like the dimes, birds become significant as “messages” and “signs” only when they are discovered in unique places, doing unique things. the robins that catch my attention are the ones who come too close and linger too long.

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and it’s not that i believe it’s my dad, exactly, though i will admit that just this morning a robin walked into the toe of my shoe (weird, right?), reflexively reminding me of my father. i might have even said, “hi, buddy.” like wishing on a wishbone, though, it is fun to entertain the possibility that behind those shiny piercing black eyes is a version of my father popping by to say, ‘hey.’
i mentioned this to a woman who i often see in the park that’s near my house. every wednesday, she sits on a bench with a clear plastic bag of peanuts in shells and calls out, “bushy! squirelly! brownie! fluffy!” and after a few calls, four squirrels fitting each description come bounding excitedly across the park from different directions to sit at her feet, catch peanuts in mid-air and munch on them happily while she chats to them about her day.
we met a few years ago when one of my dogs scared bushy, or maybe it was fluffy, with a big bark as we walked by. the woman, who i guessed to be 80-something, was stooped and carried a blue shiny cane that had black duct tape wrapped around the handle. she came over to scratch the canine offender behind the ears and told me that the squirrels were the spirits of her parents, her brother and her beloved poodle — all of whom had passed away in the last ten years. she said it seriously and nonchalantly, like she was talking about what she had had for breakfast.

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when i mentioned how robins reminded me of my father, she smiled warmly, pulling the fuzzy, rose-coloured knit beret that she wore on top of frizzy red hair down her forehead a bit.
“yup, darling, that’s it,” she said. “you don’t have to believe, but if it gives you comfort, why not? besides, there’s no way to know for sure, is there?”
and while calling squirrels for a family meeting may seem like a bit of a stretch for many of us, the idea that nature holds the key to connecting with lost loved ones is not unheard of. in fact, according to the farmers’ almanac, along with visits in dreams and flickering lights — referred to as an “otherworldly wink” — when an animal shows an unusual interest in you, or a lack of fear, this is considered a message from the spirit world. in particular, apparently ladybugs are a good omen, while butterflies and birds, “especially cardinals and blue jays, have long been seen as messengers that a departed loved one is still watching over you.”
of course, recognizing the presence of a deceased loved one doesn’t only happen through nature. many people also report having visions of their person, or a very strong “sense” that they are near. sometimes there’s a specific smell, even. sound a little creepy? heck, it’s totally creepy. but these kinds of connections with the deceased are completely common and absolutely normal among the bereaved.

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in fact, one study by researchers at the university of roehampton in england noted that between 30 and 60 per cent of bereaved people feel the continued presence of the person who died, 13 to 30 per cent hear their voice and 14 to 26 per cent actually “see” the person — with most reporting that the experiences comforted them, gave them an opportunity to say goodbye and have one more cherished interaction with their loved one.
without question, whether or not the deceased really do reappear as animals or insects, foggy blurs or the random slamming of doors, or whether these are just manifestations of our broken hearts desperately seeking healing, it probably doesn’t matter much. it’s what we get out of them that is most important: comfort, calm, and maybe a little peace.
so if chatting with some friendly squirrels helps you put the pieces of your soul back together, go for it, i say. and don’t worry if you spot me in an enthusiastic conversation with a robin — it’s just me and my dad having a moment.
lisa machado is the executive producer of healthing.ca.
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lisa machado
lisa machado

lisa machado began her journalism career as a financial reporter with investor's digest and then rogers media. after a few years editing and writing for a financial magazine, she tried her hand at custom publishing and then left to launch a canadian women's magazine with a colleague. after being diagnosed with a rare blood cancer, lisa founded the canadian cml network and shifted her focus to healthcare advocacy and education.

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