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mental and emotional health in schools: are they doing enough?

from private institutions to public schools, pursuing excellence often comes at the cost of emotional well-being.

by chris coulter

published mar 19, 2024

last updated oct 29, 2024

9 minute read

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9 minute read

join the conversation

according to a february 2023 report from the cdc, almost three in five teenage girls persistently experienced feeling sad and hopeless, which is a marker for depressive symptoms. getty images

are our schools failing our children’s emotional well-being? the contentious question stirs debate, resistance, and uncomfortable truths. while educators and administrators may argue otherwise, the undeniable verdict lies in the students’ voices. “this information [on emotional well-being] is very useful for teenagers since they are in a raw state of life, and lots of us don’t know how to deal with our feelings,” 14-year-old imad shared.

when asked about the value of the emotional and mental health education they receive in school, this was the overarching theme of most teenagers.

in countless interviews and consultations, a resounding sentiment emerges: schools are neglecting to equip young minds with the tools to navigate the complexities of grief, loss, and emotional turmoil. as they prioritize academic success and prestigious admissions, the emotional toll on students remains overlooked and under-addressed.

from private institutions to public schools, pursuing excellence often comes at the cost of emotional well-being. it’s time to confront this uncomfortable reality and demand more for our children’s mental health.

what are schools focusing on with our children?

“schools teach us how to learn, but not how to deal with our emotions,” danielle, a 16-year-old private school student in toronto, said.

schools tend to focus on mindfulness and well-being strategies, which students in several esteemed private schools confirm revolve around stress management practices like breathing techniques and exercising. “the main thing we’re taught in school is that if we’re not feeling well, ask for help,” 17-year-old private school student andreia added.

breathing techniques, exercising, teaching mindfulness, and goal setting are all great practices; however, schools don’t go far enough. the students see this as a means only to achieve higher marks and ultimately get into the university of their choice.

“schools are completely missing the boat about mental health,” zac coulter, a passionate mental health advocate, said. “you can’t just sandwich the topic [mental health] into a health class. there must be a conscious effort to focus on students’ mental health regularly.”

coulter knows firsthand the importance of mental and emotional health. he lost his 14-year-old sister, maddie, to suicide in april 2015 and has been an ardent voice for mental health advocacy since. over the last nine years, he’s talked to thousands of students and faculty about the subject.

as parents, we see this as setting our children up for success and a wonderful future. by focusing solely on academics, are we only pushing our children’s emotional health downstream to university and beyond?

“i think it is important that education in school include topics of emotions,” marlowe, a sixteen-year-old private school attendee, said. “not everyone turns to their parents or friends to talk about their feelings or might not even know how. if this were taught, then people would benefit from the program.”

can our children achieve academic success without emphasizing emotional health?

this is a tricky question because it depends on what is going on in a child’s life.

academic achievement is attainable, but it can be much more challenging for a child who has experienced a traumatic event. eventually, life catches up with all of us. things happens, and we can’t protect our children from everything, regardless of how much we try.

according to sara munroe, an emotional intelligence consultant and teacher, children experience different levels of grief and loss at varying stages of their lives.

adverse childhood experiences (aces) vary greatly depending on the student. some have gone through devastating events, whereas many students may go through school life relatively unscathed. one thing is certain: at some point in their life, they will face grief and loss. if they don’t understand how to process these emotions, this will impact how they face adversity and deal with resilience.

“the mark of societal evolution we look to address is not only physical and academic needs, but now social and emotional health,” munroe said.

putting our children in a plastic bubble isn’t realistic, and eventually, they will have to face life’s hard truths. if students don’t know how to handle and understand their emotions, how should they navigate life’s potholes?

emotional events like divorce, bullying, loss of a loved one, changing schools, and moving homes, to name but a few, are all huge events that can happen in a child’s life, and unless they’re given the skills to deal with them, this can have a devastating effect upon a child and how they navigate these events.

worse still, if not dealt with properly, the emotional impact is not fully understood; it can plummet a child into a downward spiral.

our teens are more aware of mental health than previous generations

“teenagers want to learn about mental health. they’re talking about it all the time, “ dr. lisa damour, esteemed psychologist and author, stated on her podcast, ask lisa: the psychology of parenting, they take it very seriously in themselves and their peers, far more than any generation before them. and they want to get it right.”

given this statement, shouldn’t we put some stock in what our children might think is lacking in our schools’ mental and emotional health programming?

i was the executive director for a social emotional learning (sel) program called how are you feeling?, which focuses on teaching children to identify, understand and process emotions. we ran hundreds of children through our volunteer program. as part of the program, we surveyed the students on the quality of the mental and emotional health programs at their schools, and 96 per cent said what they learn is inadequate.

in addition, after completing our program, 95 per cent of student participants indicated they felt “confident” or “very confident” they could handle an emotional crisis. many expressed that the program changed their lives.

our graduates became vocal advocates and ambassadors for the need to introduce this to their schools on a larger scale. they approached their guidance and wellness counsellors but were mostly shut down. the school administrators were given full access to the program, yet most didn’t watch a minute of it, even at the insistence of their students.

we know this because our program came equipped with an internal tracking system to identify when the program was opened and how much time had been viewed. we did this primarily to track participating students while managing their volunteer hours, but faculty also received individual and unique links.

other social emotional learning providers shared the same experiences

some might say i have sour grapes because the schools didn’t adopt our program – despite students’ recommendations. i’ve talked to other sel providers who shared the same frustration with private schools, and their comments mirrored many of our concerns. the schools “already had a program in place.”

we asked the students, and they said the opposite was true.

the students say their schools bring in keynote speakers who appeal to the parent groups, who talk about a lot of the emotional angst of teens and yet don’t want to address the emotional needs of the students directly.

meanwhile, we have a population of youth experiencing emotional turmoil and yet none of the schools want to put the microscope on themselves.

what are the youth mental health statistics?

a report released by the cdc in february 2023 shared the following startling statistics. almost three in five teenage girls persistently experienced feeling sad and hopeless, which is a marker for depressive symptoms. this was an increase of almost 60 per cent since 2011. three in 10 teenage boys experienced the same symptoms, an increase of 40 per cent for the same timeframe.

of the same age group of females, 30 per cent of these young adults had seriously contemplated suicide. the numbers for teenage boys weren’t as high but equally concerning at 14 per cent.

the cdc identified understanding and managing emotions as something schools can do to reverse these trends.

“schools are on the frontlines of this crisis, and they must be equipped with the tools to support young people. this includes training for teachers to help them manage the mental health problems they’re seeing in their classrooms, getting students out into communities, and bringing mentors into schools to foster positive engagements and connections, and making sure that schools are safe places for our most vulnerable youth,” director of cdc’s division of adolescent and school health schools, dr. kathleen ethier, said in a presentation of the report.

“schools should also connect youth to needed services and provide high-quality health education that teaches skills like understanding sexual consent, managing emotions, and communication. these are critical lifelines for students.”

a social experiment or compassion project?

claire barron, a teacher, group facilitator, life coach and grief counsellor, shared a compelling story about an organization she ran called “friendship in action.”

through friendship in action, she ran a program called “kids helping kids manage stress.” the program was implemented in several inner-city schools and sought to address the needs of students traditionally labelled as disruptive or acting out in class.

many of these students had likely experienced trauma in their young lives, leading to behavioural challenges that often resulted in frustration from teachers and administrators. claire and her team took a proactive approach, offering voluntary group sessions to these students, providing a safe space for them to share their stories and pain.

“when families go through tough times, their reaction is to put up walls,” barron said. “actually, what’s needed is to do the opposite.”

over eight weeks, participants in the program gradually opened up about their experiences, with some only feeling comfortable enough to share in the latter weeks. these sessions catalyzed healing as students spoke openly about their pain, grief, and loss.

“they [schools] say, ‘this doesn’t feel safe. we can’t have kids talking to one another about these challenging things,’” barron said. “i say, ‘yes, but the potential for empathy is also there.’”

despite initial reluctance from schools, fearing that participation would lead to further academic setbacks, the results were quite the opposite.

contrary to expectations, students who participated in kids helping kids manage stress saw improvements in their behaviour and academic performance. sharing buried trauma and unresolved emotions provided a pathway to emotional healing. as a result, many students experienced a newfound sense of peace within themselves. by addressing their emotional needs, these students became better learners, were far less disruptive, and found greater stability and contentment.

one student in the program said they felt they could better manage their anger, while another found a community of new friends and admitted to establishing unexpected bonds with other participants.

the success of kids helping kids manage stress highlights the profound impact of emotional support programs in schools. imagine if all disruptive students had the opportunity to engage in similar initiatives. the benefits wouldn’t just be limited to individual students; classrooms would become more conducive to learning, with teachers able to focus on instruction rather than managing disruptive behaviour.

“it’s not about putting it on the kids,” barron continued. “you have to create the environment to support well-being.”

while the pandemic may have disrupted the momentum of kids helping kids manage stress, its legacy remains a testament to the power of students’ ability to understand their emotions. prioritizing emotional well-being in schools isn’t just beneficial; creating environments where all students can thrive is necessary.

claire still firmly believes that this is one of the best ways for young people to normalize their feelings and gain comfort and advice from their peers. while friendship in action has closed down, these groups are still being led through another organization called talk, listen and connect.

conclusion

as we reflect on the critical role of schools in shaping academic success and our children’s mental and emotional well-being, it’s evident that there’s a pressing need for accountability and action. are schools truly prioritizing the holistic development of our children, or are they merely paying lip service to the idea while focusing solely on academic achievement?

instead of solely kowtowing to parents who foot hefty tuition bills, schools must heed the calls for comprehensive mental and emotional health support from those who experience the effects firsthand. students are not just asking for academic excellence; they’re demanding resources and programs that equip them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges, understand their emotions and build resilience.

it’s time to listen to the voices that matter the most: the students.

chris coulter is an accomplished author, renowned for his book “wake up, you could lose your teen to suicide.” as a passionate advocate for mental health, he has delivered impactful keynote speeches at numerous conferences. motivated by personal tragedy, chris lost his daughter, maddie, to suicide in april 2015. he currently serves as an advisor and formerly the executive director of how are you feeling, a non-profit organization focused on social-emotional learning, helping children navigate and comprehend their emotions effectively.

mental and emotional health in schools: are they doing enough?

from private institutions to public schools, pursuing excellence often comes at the cost of emotional well-being.

what are schools focusing on with our children?

fighting for change: how one father’s tragic loss is shedding light on youth mental health

parenting through teen mental health challenges: navigating the storm

can our children achieve academic success without emphasizing emotional health?

our teens are more aware of mental health than previous generations

other social emotional learning providers shared the same experiences

what are the youth mental health statistics?

a social experiment or compassion project?

conclusion

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mental and emotional health in schools: are they doing enough?

from private institutions to public schools, pursuing excellence often comes at the cost of emotional well-being.

what are schools focusing on with our children?

related stories

fighting for change: how one father’s tragic loss is shedding light on youth mental health

parenting through teen mental health challenges: navigating the storm

diagnosed with depression: managing stigma, treatment and support

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can our children achieve academic success without emphasizing emotional health?

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our teens are more aware of mental health than previous generations

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other social emotional learning providers shared the same experiences

what are the youth mental health statistics?

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a social experiment or compassion project?

advertisement

advertisement

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conclusion

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