the stress of divorce often challenges mental health

from conflict and aggression to fear of what the future holds, dissolving a marriage can be one of the most emotionally- and mentally-taxing life events.

by ron shulman

published apr 13, 2022

3 minute read

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3 minute read

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the stress of divorce often challenges mental health

for anyone going through a divorce, managing one’s own mental health issues is paramount. getty

the divorce process is difficult in many ways, including emotionally and financially. however, during the past two years, emotional issues have become exacerbated as divorcing couples navigate a new phase of life with societal issues associated with the pandemic. couples who divorce often face these high stress issues, such as buying and/or selling a home, or finding a place to rent, which became more complex during the pandemic and especially during lockdowns; establishing a co-parenting agreement or plan that works for both former partners and the whole family; navigating the emotions of a breakup while maintaining a professional demeanour, and meeting job deadlines and pressures; and dividing assets and debt, with some couples facing rapidly-rising real estate prices and/or loss of income.

conflict in a divorce

the amount of conflict in a divorce has also been shown to directly impact mental health, with anxiety and depression — often resulting from being exposed to increasing levels of aggression. these emotions can then complicate the divorce process, and make it more difficult.

the pandemic has not helped. virtual meetings have not only led to delays in court and other legal proceedings in the early days of the pandemic as the legal system plays catch-up with the sheer volume of cases, but the decrease in human contact — replaced by zoom — has taken some of the warmth out of empathetic communication.

94% of canadians have been negatively impacted

according to a statistics canada report released sept. 27, 2021, one in four (25 per cent) of canadians aged 18 and older screened positive for symptoms of depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd) in the spring of 2021. this is up from one in five (21 per cent) in the fall of 2020. among canadians who screened positive for a disorder, including depression, anxiety or ptsd, 94 per cent reported being negatively impacted by the pandemic.

for clients going through the divorce process and dealing with a soon-to-be ex-spouse who is showing signs of mental health issues, this can interfere with negotiations and the course of litigation. some times, it may be necessary to wait until the former partner has had time to work on improving their mental health.

and if co-parenting is an issue, sometimes psychiatric assessments ordered directly by a court — or commissioned by an expert assigned to conduct a custody and access assessment — are necessary to determine safety. an assessment can reveal any mental health concerns or clinical diagnoses that affect the other parent; psychological functioning or troubling personality traits that might impair their parenting abilities; behaviours that pose a safety risk in the parenting of the children; as well as suitable treatment recommendations.

mental health while going through a divorce

for anyone going through a divorce, managing one’s own mental health issues is paramount. the first step is paying attention to feelings of sadness, anger and perhaps, an inability to concentrate. if these feelings are affecting quality of life, some helpful strategies include working with a doctor and a therapist to learn how to manage emotions and identify triggers.

according to the canadian mental health association (cmha), people going through a divorce can feel a wide range of intense emotions including sadness, anger, hurt, fear of an uncertain future, loneliness, confusion about the many decisions that must be made and, also, a sense of failure at lost plans and dreams. but while the dissolution of a marriage can very difficult, finding strategies to take care of your mental health can help you move forward toward a new and rewarding life.

ron shulman, a certified specialist in family law, is the founder and managing partner of shulman & partners llp, an exclusive family law practice focused on the resolution of conflicts and ensuring clients are prepared to confidently move on with their lives.

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