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so what’s someone who is sick or taking care of someone who is sick to do about maintaining relationships and those important connections that keep us on solid ground while managing our physical and emotional health? well, there have been many studies and discussions about illness and loneliness and the sense of disconnection from peers when you or someone close to you is seriously ill. one study notes that chronic illness limits “opportunities for belonging, social valuing and inclusion,” and concluded that in order for relationships to continue to work, there is a “ trade-off of one social gain for another.” that there must be a balance between focusing on making connections happen and the acknowledgment of the reality of the person with the illness. in other words, in order to maintain relationships, people with chronic illnesses cannot be fully authentic.
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it’s similar for those in a caregiver role — let’s be honest, even the most giving and empathetic friends have a limit in terms of how much they can talk about fear, sadness, pain, loneliness, and well, diapers. the result is isolation that contributes to anxiety, distress, depression and loneliness. isn’t it ironic though that social support and connection is what most of us crave (need!) when we are sick or managing the care of someone we love, yet, for numerous reasons, they are also the most difficult holes for those around us to fill?