social stigma against disability is pervasive and can be particularly harmful to the invisibly disabled. we must constantly prove that we deserve support, and face scrutiny from those who suspect us of faking our struggles. the stigma is so widespread, it’s taken years for me to admit, even to myself, that my mental health condition is disabling.
despite struggling all my life to fit in at school or hold a job, i had internalized the idea that it was shameful to need support or accommodations, and that i should be able to succeed without them.
such stigma affects how medical professionals interact with us as well.
even when i was in university, registered by my doctor as a disabled student, receiving accommodations that helped me succeed academically, my doctor refused to validate my disability in other contexts. he was adamant that, although i needed supports as a student with a mental health condition, once i got my degree, identifying as disabled would only be an obstacle then. if only it were that easy.
my doctor seemed more worried about labelling me disabled than the possibility that i might end up poor and unemployed. but that’s what happened.
i finished my undergraduate degree near the top of my class, moved on to graduate studies with the goal of becoming a professor, and then hit a wall. the accommodations that got me through undergrad were no longer useful in helping me meet the demands of a master’s degree. when the pandemic arrived, i left my degree unfinished to provide childcare for my son.