advice: that thing that happens when sex doesn't

dear asking for a friend,
my fiancé always talks about ‘blue balls,’ how his testicles hurt if he doesn’t have sex. insert eye roll. is this a thing? i am also asking for my teen daughter, who says the boys say it all the time. but i don’t want her to feel pressure to have sex because her boyfriend is in “pain”.
signed, suspiciousdear suspicious,epididymal hypertension (eh) or what is widely known as “blue balls” is real, as is “pink pelvis,” which produces similar physical sensations — discomfort, heaviness and pain that affects someone who is sexually aroused, but doesn’t climax.dr. yonah krakowsky, urologist, sexual medicine surgeon, surgeon-educator and vice program director for the urology residency program at the university of toronto says that when someone with a penis and testicles gets aroused, the genitals get engorged with blood. the arousal from sexual stimulation ends with a release or orgasm, but those who don’t get to the finish line may experience a dull and severe pain in the testicles, according to krakowsky. a subtle blue tint might also be present.while there are no official stats on how many people experience blue balls, krakowsky suggests that teens are particularly affected. that said, some may purposely avoid climax for religious or social reasons, and for others, it may actually be a part of a sexual fetish, he says. there’s also the practice of semen retention, which some people may favour for its perceived — but not scientifically-backed benefits — such as greater energy, improved sperm quality and fertility, reduced brain fog, and improved relationship with one’s self.whatever the reason, arousal without orgasm may trigger uncomfortable symptoms for those with a penis, but the good news is that the pain does get better with time as congestion eases. tight underwear may help relieve some of the discomfort, but in case you may have heard that icing the area works too, krakowsky says, there isn’t enough scientific literature proving making the very cold can alleviate symptoms.blue balls doesn’t pose a risk to one’s health, however, it is possible to dismiss the pain down there when something more serious might be at play. testicular torsion, also known as “twisted testicles” can cause sudden, severe pain, but unlike blue balls, it’s a condition that requires prompt medical evaluation and care.“people need to understand their anatomy and things that can happen,” says krakowsky, adding that it’s important to “have a good understanding of the normal pain after arousal without climax, versus a medical condition that needs urgent attention.”and a note about your daughter. when it comes to sex, no should ever feel pressured into submission. that said, teens are often pressured into having sex before they are ready, whether by their partners or peers — it can happen in adult relationships too. perhaps a discussion about consent is in order. unfortunately, sexual coercion can happen to anyone at any age, in new and long-term relationships, and the signs can be subtle, showing up as manipulation, emotional pleas, and using guilt trips (like blue balls) to convince someone to have sex.the bottom line is that blue balls hasn’t killed anyone, and neither has an achy clitoris, a painful uterus or that feeling of fullness in the pelvis that may happen from arousal that doesn’t end in climax. this is not your problem to solve unless you’re in the mood for it.is there something about health that you (or a friend, wink, wink) have always wondered about, but are too embarrassed to ask? send a note to info@healthing.ca. we promise your ‘friend’s’ secret – and identity – is safe with us!